Why Mental Illness Awareness Week Matters for care partners
Every October, Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) shines a spotlight on conversations we need but often avoid—mental health in our daily lives. For families supporting someone with a serious or terminal illness, these conversations take on a unique urgency.
Care partners aren’t just organizing medications or coordinating doctor visits—they’re absorbing the emotional weight of anticipatory grief, the mental strain of constant decision-making, and the fear of what comes next. Left unaddressed, that hidden labor can spiral into burnout, anxiety, or depression.
At the Empowered Endings Foundation, we believe caring for yourself while you care for someone else is not selfish; it’s essential. This article gives you:
- Language scripts to ask for palliative care or mental health support.
- A family meeting checklist to align on care plans.
- Resources to ease care partners’ burnout and honor anticipatory grief.
By the end, you’ll have practical tools to keep your own well-being intact—while navigating one of life’s hardest chapters with clarity and compassion.
Care Partners Mental Health: What Burnout and Anticipatory Grief Look Like
Care Partners Burnout Support is one of the most searched terms in our space, and for good reason. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, more than 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. are unpaid care partners—and nearly 40% report feeling emotionally strained.
Burnout often shows up as:
- Exhaustion that doesn’t go away with rest.
- Irritability or withdrawal from friends.
- Trouble focusing on daily tasks.
- Feeling trapped, guilty, or resentful.
Anticipatory grief—the grief you feel before a death—adds another layer. It can surface as:
- Constant anxiety about “the next stage.”
- Sadness that comes in waves even while your loved one is alive.
- Guilt for wishing the suffering would ease.
- Confusion about how to plan or what to say.
These experiences are not personal failures. They’re predictable responses to ongoing stress. Naming them is the first step toward getting help.
Once you recognize that extra support is needed, one of the best places to find it is through palliative care. It’s designed to step in right when symptoms or stress begin to feel overwhelming—offering relief, guidance, and a team that centers both patients’ and families’ comfort and quality of life.
How to Ask for Palliative Care (Copy-and-Paste Scripts)
One of the strongest tools you can give yourself as a care partners is language. Families often don’t know how to ask for palliative care, even when symptoms, stress, or burnout clearly signal it’s time. Here are ready-to-use scripts you can adapt:
- With a doctor:
“We’d like a palliative care consult to support symptoms and our family’s mental health. Can you help us schedule it?” - At a family meeting:
“I think we all want the same thing—comfort and clarity. Can we bring in a palliative care team to help us coordinate?” - If you feel dismissed:
“I understand palliative care isn’t hospice. My goal is a better quality of life now, not just at the end. Can we revisit this?” - For mental health specifically:
“This is taking a toll on me as a care partners. Can you refer me to counseling or support services that work alongside palliative care?”
Using clear, confident language reduces delays and avoids misunderstandings. It signals to professionals that you know what you’re asking for—and that support is non-negotiable.
Family Meeting Checklist for Care Planning
While caregiving can be overwhelming, having a clear plan and a supportive care team can ease that mental load. The family meeting checklist can transform tense conversations into organized, values-led decisions. Here’s a comprehensive structure to get you started:
- Confirm a medical decision-maker (POA): Ensure someone has legal authority if your loved one can’t speak for themselves. (See our blog on Healthcare Power of Attorney).
- List the top 3 goals of care: Comfort? Staying at home? Reducing hospital visits? Write them down.
- Note questions for providers: Pain plans, mental health resources, home care support.
- Assign roles: Who handles medications, insurance calls, meal prep, and transportation?
- Set a follow-up date: These plans evolve—schedule the next check-in now.
When you have clarity and you’re not carrying everything alone, you can focus more on meaningful moments and less on constant worry. This checklist should be placed in an easily accessible location, such as an advanced care file, alongside directives and medical notes. It’s not just paperwork—it’s a peace-of-mind anchor.
When Should Someone Be Offered Palliative Care vs Hospice?
Search trends show families often ask: “When should someone be offered palliative care?” Too often, confusion with hospice delays this vital support, causing unnecessary stress for patients and emotional strain for care partners. The truth is: starting palliative care earlier not only improves quality of life for the patient, it also protects the mental health and well-being of the entire caregiving circle.
- Palliative care: Available at any stage of a serious illness, alongside curative treatment. It focuses on symptom relief, emotional support, care coordination, and family guidance.
- Hospice: Reserved for the final six months of life, when treatment is no longer pursued and the focus shifts entirely to comfort.
A good rule of thumb: the earlier palliative care begins, the more it helps. If your loved one is struggling with symptoms, facing frequent hospitalizations, or if care partners feel stretched thin—it’s time. Don’t wait for a six-month prognosis to get help.
For more background, see World Health Organization: Palliative Care.
Free care partners Support Resources (Burnout, Grief, Planning)
Where can care partners find free support? It’s one of the most pressing questions we hear. Here are trusted places to start:
- National Institute on Aging (NIA): care partners Resources with guides on dementia, legal planning, and stress management.
- National Alliance for Caregiving: Research and support networks.
- Local aging services portals: Many states provide directories of care partners programs, respite services, and mental health hotlines.
- Empowered Endings Foundation Community: Our free, moderated space where families and professionals connect over real-time questions, best practices, and expert sessions. Join here.
Support is not a luxury—it’s a right. Accessing it early helps prevent a crisis down the road.
FAQs: care partners Mental Health and Planning
Is anticipatory grief normal for care partners?
Yes. It’s common to grieve before loss, especially when illness brings visible decline. Recognizing anticipatory grief can help normalize your feelings and open doors to counseling.
How do I ask my doctor for palliative care?
Use direct language: “Can we schedule a palliative care consult to help with symptoms and family support?” Clarity reduces delays.
When should someone be offered palliative care (and when hospice)?
Palliative care can start at the diagnosis of a serious illness; hospice usually begins in the final six months when treatment is no longer pursued.
What belongs in a family meeting checklist for end-of-life planning?
Confirm a POA, define top goals of care, list provider questions, assign roles, and set a follow-up meeting.
Where can I find free care partners’ support resources?
Start with the NIA Caregiving Hub, state services directories, and the Empowered Endings Community.
Protecting Your Mind While You Care
Caring for someone at the end of life is both a privilege and a profound challenge. But you don’t have to carry the mental weight alone. By recognizing care partners’ burnout, addressing anticipatory grief, and using scripts and checklists to structure support, you’re not just planning for someone else’s end-of-life—you’re safeguarding your own well-being too.
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Inside, you’ll find expert insights, monthly meetups, Q&As, and resources to support both your loved one’s care and your own mental health.
References
- National Institute on Aging. Caregiving Resources. Accessed September 2025.
- National Alliance for Caregiving. Research, Reports & Resources. Accessed September 2025.
- World Health Organization. Palliative Care Fact Sheet. Last updated August 2020.
- Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. Medicare Hospice Benefits. Last updated January 2023.
